


Not Quite Half of Me

by Goliathus_Regius



Category: Free!
Genre: Depression, First Love, Loneliness, M/M, Part dolphin part human Haru, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-03-18 19:51:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3581790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goliathus_Regius/pseuds/Goliathus_Regius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was starting to lose count of the years he'd been wandering the ocean without purpose when he met him. It was the first time he had cared about somebody that he could remember. Her voice was fading, but his, it would never leave him alone. He didn't know love could be like this. Soon he began to wonder if he would even be willing to give up what had mattered most to him all his life for a human.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

The young boy hung suspended in the water, knowing all too well that he could do nothing to help at all, feeling like he could do nothing but sit frozen in place and take in what was before him, terrified. The site before him wasn't one he could bear to watch, and his lungs let all his air rush out in a scream that only managed to amount to bubbles underwater. And, yet, no one helped him, a fact he didn't know how to cope with.  
The water around him, water that he had lived in all of his life, a substance he had always trusted to be secure and never commit deceit, was stained a dark, awful red. The liquid stirred, creating patterns and spirals through the water, and at that moment he loathed the water for making art out of death.  
He had seen this red before, but always from prey. From those he and his mother hunted. At those times, the swirling red through the water was fun to watch. But not now, not when it was the blood of another of his kind.  
That's when the awful realization came to him.  
'We're being hunted.' He was going to die here. His body was shaking uncontrollably, and he still couldn't find it in him to move, to dart away like the fish that slipped out from his fingers.  
Then, a single, shrill squeak made it to him through the chaos in his mind. "Get out of here!" The voice demanded. "NO-"It was cut off, and the voice spoke no more.  
It was enough to snap him out of it, to set him off. He focused not on distance, but on swimming as deep as he could into the ocean. It was safe down there, where the water hadn't touched the blood streaming from the woman before him. It was where the hunter who was after him couldn't find him, he knew it. They might have weapons, but they weren't as strong as him in swimming. No human could be.  
In his fearful state, he failed to notice the approaching sea floor. His body collided with the sand, and he sat motionless, save his trembling, anticipating the ripping of a harpoon through his stomach. But it never came, and he relaxed after a moment, looking up to see the hunter was gone. At least, from his sight. But he knew if they were out of his sight, he was out of theirs, at least while he was deep underwater.  
Through the hazy water above him, he could make out the shape of a limp body, a string dragging it slowly through the water that the life that had once inhabited it no longer felt. The harpoon had pierced her heart, and he knew she was dead. He shuddered at the grotesque image, wanting to swim forward and rip her away from the awful hunter. To scream, to attack him, to do something from having her being eaten like the fish he caught. But he couldn't do any of that, not while the human had a harpoon and he was defenseless. He needed to heed her last words, and escape.  
So, he turned and swam as fast as he could. He had nowhere to go, but he didn't think about that now, only swimming. He had to escape now, to block those thoughts from his mind until he could deal with them. He couldn’t let them slow them down or he’d die.  
In other words, as far as the human was concerned, his prey didn't have a son, and as far as he was concerned, he never had a mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This is my first fanfiction, so sorry if it's not very good, I simply figured I'd start a story that's been nagging me for weeks now, so here we are. Also, sorry this chapter's so short, I promise the rest of them will be longer. Please leave any suggestions for improving my writing, I would really appreciate it. Anyway, thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 1

He knew he was somewhere around sixteen, or at least, fairly sure. Passing days and months meant so little to him that only the changing of the seasons managed to catch his attention. And, even then, simply because he knew he would have to migrate then, not because the passage of time meant much to him.

Aside from moving to cooler or warmer waters where he knew the fish would be, he lived a life not entirely unlike those of the dolphins he looked up to. He let the tide carry him where it would, failing to care much about anything. Although simply floating from place to place, he found himself much more like the smacks of jellyfish he passed on occasion than pods of dolphins.

That, like most thoughts, was one he had blocked away and didn't bother with. It could only cause him pain.

Still, when it had come to his mind for the second time, it had sent a pang of fresh injury through his body. He couldn't help but think about it.

As the very least, he knew, jellyfish had others of their species. Jealousy and anger came to take the place of the hurt he had felt. Why did those unintelligent animals have so many others to be around, while he had never so much as seen another beast like himself? Was he the only one, or was he simply not looking hard enough? It's not like having a tail instead of legs was something one could simply hide.

He knew that, seeing as how he never could manage to. So that meant that the humans had managed to kill all the rest of them, like they had his mother. He survived through pure luck.

Haru had known that for a long time. He forgot precisely when, but sometime when he was still small weak enough to die at the work of other ocean dwelling animals, he had given up on trying to find more like himself. There wasn't a point in it, he knew. Anyway, even in the wisp of a chance he had to find another beast like himself he managed to, who's to say they wouldn't reject him like all the rest? It's not like he was even a half breed like his mother was. No, even among his mother's kin, he would be a reject. His mother might have been a half-breed, but his father was pure human. And so, that made him...

He wasn't quite sure what it made it. All he knew was that it made him a freak, no matter where he went. He could only rely on himself and the soothing water for everything his life required.

Well, the water couldn't give him everything. It could supply with protection from humans, space to escape dolphins, sure. It came with plenty of food for him to live on. He slept in it at night, and the tidal waves led him through the slow days. But he remembered, even now, that there was more to life than simply getting by. There was conversation, smiles, laughter, learning, curiosity, so much more than his life had now.

He knew, though, that the days he could find those things were over. His life might be a shadow of what it was back then, and he knew that he was now simply counting down to the day he would die at the hands of a human or sea creature, or wither away in old age. Yet, he was scared of the idea of death. Even if his life meant nothing, and even if death held a chance of being better than this life, he didn't want to find out yet. Because what if it wasn't?

He wanted to give up, yes. Sometimes he thought that the gamble of death being better than life was one he was willing to take. Despite those dark thoughts that plagued him, the instincts inside of him kicked him up when he lay down on the sandy ocean depths, determined to not move from the place again. They forced him to survive, just as the water provided him all he needed to live on, as if urging him to cling to his scrap of a life and never let the cruelness of his supposed kin tear away the last thing he had.

So yes, he was living, and intended to keep doing so as long as possible. Not for any real reason, but simply because that was what instinct told him to do. Haru knew well that a person who hated to think couldn't afford to deny what their instincts told them, ever.

Now, he allowed his careful guard on his mind to relax, a bit. But what he had intended to be as a small stargazing session soon got out of hand in his mind. After all, when you refuse yourself thought for a long time, when you finally do allow yourself to ponder over things, ideas flood over you. Raging emotions take on what was moments before, an uncaring frame of what a person might be if they gave up on life.

Not that Haru was a person.

He scowled deeply, hating the thought. What was he? He had always called himself a beast, or at least he had since he had encountered the first group of humans he had ever seen. They had yelled that at him, along with monster, and a few other words he couldn't make out. Needless to say, he had promptly swam away, feeling sick. The humans hated him. Why?

Was his tail really that awful to them?

How many years had passed since his mother's death then? Three, perhaps? And, what about now?

Six right? So three years since meeting humans for the first time? 

Sighing through the water, he tried to focus on the stars above him, but found it difficult. From underwater, they were blurry points of light in the sky, difficult to make out through the moving water above him. 

He recalled a story his mother told him long ago, that had managed to stick with him as nearly everything else about her had been stripped away from his mind. She had said that, beyond the air that lay above the oceans, higher than even the birds could fly, there was a giant ocean in the sky. In the day, you could see this oceans great, blue surface, but it changed entirely at night. The ocean became transparent, and those who looked up to it could see the inhabitants of this ocean. Humans called them ‘stars’ and had long wondered what they were, but his kind knew. At least, his mother was convinced that that’s what they were. She promised him that dolphins, whales, humans and half-breeds alike existed in peace in the great ocean. There they looked down on those who still remained to earth, reminding them that they were never alone, and when the day came for them to leave the earth, they were always welcome to the paradise that they had looked up to all their life.  
Nice story, sure, but he wasn’t sure if he believed it anymore. He certainly didn't feel like somebody was watching over him right now. Or perhaps they were truly there, and it was simply that nobody cared about a child like him. His father hadn’t, why should they? To them, he was no more than a speck, like a bird or fish, living a feeble life as well as an unitelligent beast can.

Perhaps his father and mother were up there, too distracted by each other to remember the son they had left behind? He let himself float a bit further to the surface, as if that would make any significant difference to the distance between him and the celestial bodies. As if by letting himself see the sky clearer, he would be able to make out the two stars entwined together in love.

Of course, there was no such thing in the sky. A white path led out, and he wondered, like always, if in the ocean above they had glaciers like the ones he had seen on earth. Or perhaps it was the congregation of sperm whales, their lovely white essence leaking out into the ocean around them?  
Of course, he doubted it. He had always doubted this great ocean, since the day his mother died. She loved him, and he knew it. If she were up there, he would feel her presence. 

Or perhaps, she had refused the invitation of the spirits in the ocean? And she waited nearby, wondering what day would be the one where both she and her son could ascend to the ocean together.

Still, nothing more than a happy story. Like the thought that there could be more like him in existence, he knew it was impossible, not by logic, but by instinct. His instinct had never lied before, and it wasn’t now, he knew. So, he was left wondering what the stars really were, like a simple human, as he looked into the soothing sky. 

Well, not entirely soothing. As vast as it was, he knew there was no one out there. Those lights weren’t living things, they were inanimate like rocks or sand. They glowed, sure, but he had seen plenty of things that glowed on earth, water, plants, strange, and odd human made rocks.   
The sky assured him that he was alone, that nothing could change that for him. Although, he would always take being alone over being near humans who gawked and screamed at him. He loathed them, those awful monsters who had killed his mother. Yes, they were the monsters, who would kill a being with fear, hope, and love. A creature so close to them, only a little off. 

Then there were the dolphins. He longed for acceptance by them, but knew he would never get it. They drove him off when he was around them for too long, nipping at his tail like he were a fish, or simply ignored him after their initial interest of the strange animal wore off. 

Neither human nor dolphin, or both? They saw him as neither. He was simply a freak, prey in the eyes of those he shared ancestry with.  
To himself? When he was alone, truly alone like this, he didn’t have to be anything. He could live with the simple idea that he was Haru, and that no other definitions fit him. 

Still, it didn’t change the fact that he wasn’t supposed to live like this. He wasn’t like the great whales he sometimes came across, those giant beings that traversed the ocean without companionship. That wasn’t the life he wanted. Those who were supposed to be his kin had stolen all of that away from him, had stripped him to the bone, and left him with a life that hardly resembled the one he longed for.

At the very least, though, they couldn't take his basic identity away. As much as they wanted to, they couldn't turn him into an unitelligent creature of the ocean. He wouldn't let them. They couldn't steal away who he was.

They could, however, make it very difficult to find out who exactly he was. As he gazed up into the sky, surrounded by the cold, drafty air, he hoped there really was an ocean up there. That beyond the air he hated he hated so much, there was a great paradise. Then, for the first time in nearly six years, he dropped his pride enough to pray to the spirits he wasn’t sure were up there, but wished were. 

“Get me out of this hell,” he whispered, using his dolphin tongue rather than human. His gaze dropped to the ocean below him. “I don’t care how. Drown me, send me companionship, let the humans or dolphins accept me,whatever your will is, so long as it frees me.” His life had to be a living hell, right? What if they were sitting up there, mocking the pathetic creature below them? Surely if they were really up there, and were truly kind, they would have sent him help before now?

“You know it well, it’s not like anyone would so much as notice if I died. Fish would eat my flesh and bones, and neither humans nor dolphins would know I had existed in the first place.” Anger bubbled inside of him, tearing through him as it had never before. “I don’t understand. Why?” His voice rose. “Why? What kind of sick person would curse me to this life?” His breath was warm, but his words felt like they burned, like the truth was something he would be better off without. He instantly regretted screaming the words he hadn't even realised had become those of a human. That was only more truth. That he was a beast, a freak of nature. You weren't supposed to be able to speak human and dolphin, you weren't supposed to be designed like that. Yet, he was. 

The truth scorched him, and he panted heavily, the horror that sometimes took over when he thought too much gripping him tightly. 

This is why he always worked so hard to avoid thinking, because thought led to truth. The truth could only lead to harm. 

Stuck deep in the cruelties of his mind, he almost didn’t hear it.

“H-hello?” The voice was faint, but unmistakably there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I hope you liked this, I'll try to put up the next chapter as soon as possible, but I'm not sure when that will be. Bye, until then.


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any errors, stylistic or grammatical in this chapter. I tried my best to fix everything, but if you find any errors, please tell me. Otherwise, I hope you like it!

“Is somebody out there?” The voice asked, a bit louder this time. Whoever, whatever it was cleared their throat loudly, before calling out even stronger, “Please, help-”  
The voice stopped, not because they stopped speaking, but because Haru had quickly slipped back into the water.

His heart pounded, but he assured himself it was alright. If they were asking for his help, they obviously didn’t know he wasn’t human, and he intended on keeping it that way. 

Still, how had he allowed himself to be that careless? If that human had been a hunter, he could very well be dead right now. Even if they weren't a hunter, any human who caught sight of him became a threat to his safety. As much as he hated his life, he refused to die at the same hand his mother had perished at. 

He managed to calm himself. It was pitch black outside, and any human without echolocation like him would be hard pressed to find where he was. Still, he had to act with caution. As long as he was close to the surface, he was vulnerable to the light-producing sticks humans often carried with themselves at night. 

So, he dove deeper into the water, moving far enough from where he had heard the voice until he felt secure again. 

He relaxed a bit in the silent water, double-checking his surroundings to assure himself there was nothing nearby. 

Relived to find nothing but open water, he settled down on the sand, feeling the edges of sleep beginning to grasp at him. Or, at least, a bit. Living underwater, he could only afford to rest half his brain at one time, so he’d still be able to go up for air when he needed it. So, at night, his mind wandered to dark places it wouldn’t dare to while he was fully awake. It led to nightmares, and a slight fear of sleep for Haru, but he could cope well enough with that.

Tonight, his thoughts went somewhere else. Back to the place he had heard the hoarse voice. 

He hadn't been anywhere near land, and he would have noticed had there been a ship nearby. So, then, where had the voice come from? He couldn't get his mind away from there, it always ended up back, as if the waves were pushing them there. He had no place else to go anyway, so he allowed the pondering.

 

 

When he emerged from his half-slumber at the first ray of light, his mind was still wrapped around the mystery of the voice. A spirit, perhaps? Ridiculous, he chastised himself. Spirits weren't real.

The voice hadn't sounded familiar, dispersing the small hope it could have been his mothers. Idiot. It was too deep to be his mothers anyway, as weak and small as the voice had been. It didn’t fit his idealistic, stupid dream. 

It’s not like there were others like him, so it had to be a human then, right? How had a human ended up this far out in the water? He recalled something his mother had once told him, that humans, unlike them, needed to drink water without salt in it constantly or they would die. It sounded like a pain to him, since he got all his liquids through fish. 

She had told him it wasn’t something the humans minded, since they often congregated in great numbers around sources of this “freshwater.” 

If a bunch of grubby human fingers made their way into it, the water didn’t seem like it would be very fresh to him, but he had kept that remark to himself.

“There’s so much of the ocean, though. Why can't they just drink that?”

No, she had told him, saltwater kills humans who drink it. 

“But why?” 

Even she didn’t know. Perhaps their bodies couldn't handle as much salt as they could?

In the end, all he had taken from that was humans were very, very fragile animals. So there was no way one could simply swim all the way out here, the way some did near the shores of the beach. Their skin would turn turn red and rash, they would need water, and didn’t humans need to preserve their food or burn it or something before they ate it? So that made it impossible. 

Maybe then, it really was somebody like him? A bit of... He wasn’t sure what the feeling was, but it felt intoxicating, demanding he return to the place where he had heard the voice. Even if it was stupid, it was the first time in too many years he had heard a voice who wasn’t screaming at him to get away, or to die. He wasn’t going to throw that away.

That... Hope.

He made his way to the surface with a simple grace he failed to appreciate anymore. Humans might have been impressed by it, if they weren't so preoccupied with his appearance.

He glanced around the rippled surface of the ocean, not spotting anything. But, it was a rather rough day in the water, foreboding of a small rainstorm to come. Nothing to worry about, of course, he could always simply recede to the depths, and it wasn’t like there was much for the waves to throw him up against out here anyway. 

Haru set off in the way he had come last night, looking around for something, anything that held possibility. 

“Hello?” he found himself calling out a few times, repeating it in human and dolphin. 

This was dangerous, he knew. What if his instincts were wrong, and there was a whole pod of them?

No, no, of course not. There was only one... Whatever they were. Or else they wouldn't have called out like they did, there wouldn't have been a need. 

Unless that was a prisoner, or baiter. In which case...

His mind, perfectly tuned for nothing but survival went carefully over the possibilities, but no matter what came to mind, nothing could deter him, he was so set on his goal. 

It was the first thing in a very long time that had caught his attention, given him the slightest wisp of hope, and he wasn’t going to let it slip away into the sky.  
Nor, though, would he allow himself to cradle the flame until he knew exactly what was out there. All he could do was protect it, and hope nothing bad came to him because of it.

Funny, seeing as how he wanted to die only last night. But life is an odd, if not cruel, thing, and he could never figure out if he really believed that or not. He only knew he wouldn't really regret anything if he were to die right now. 

He moved through the water rapidly, surfacing every few seconds to scan the surface of the water for anything. 

Finally, he caught sight of... He couldn't tell what it was from this distance, but it was certainly of a significant size. It was colored a brownish white, like bleached wood, but looked too large to be a piece of driftwood.

He dived under again, easily making his way over to the object. About ten feet or so away he stopped, warning himself to be cautious of it. It never hurt to be careful, and it might very well save his life if there was anyone hostile around.

Moving slowly, he approached it, coming close enough to brush the side of the wood with his fingers. It was clearly carved, the work of a human. He recoiled his hand, but didn’t move from where he was. There was no voice now, so he wasn’t worried too much.

Looking over it, he didn’t recognize it exactly, but knew well enough it was a kind of boat, a piece of huge wood hollowed out to carry humans and cargo alike.  
It was a long, thin boat, tall enough for him to be unable to see inside. Slowly, he reached up out of the water, gripping the side of the small boat firmly, finding the wood to be rather thin, but still sturdy.

He kicked softly with his tailfin, managing to hoist himself up to the side of the boat. The boat tipped slightly, but not enough to flip it completely, to Haru’s relief.  
Though, his relief evaporated when he stared into the boat. Sure, there was what he expected, a small cloth bag, a few human shirts and pants, and a container of what appeared to be food.

Then, something far more terrifying.

The human inside the boat was sleeping sure, but still a huge danger. They looked like a teenager, maybe even close to his age, but all humans were a threat to his survival.

‘Obviously, what were you expecting?’ Reason spoke, and he supposed it had been quite obvious.

Haru wasn’t sure why he didn’t simply let go then, slipping back into his human-free home and escaping as swiftly and with the same breed of fear he had felt the day his mother was killed. There was a human, only a foot or so away from him!

But he didn’t, for whatever reason. He simply sat there, silent as he looked over the resting human.

They were much thinner than the humans he had seen before, which made him wonder if they hadn't eaten in a long time. Their tanned skin stretched too tight over their bones, cheeks hollowed in an almost haunting way, and eyelids sunken back and dry-looking. All of their skin, in fact, looked dry and lacked the vibrance he had always seen humans with.

‘Why does it matter,’ his small voice of reason reminded him, but he blocked it out. He was.. Entranced by this human. They had a troubled expression, but in sleep it was relaxed enough for him to see it might have been a kind face in better times.

Their hair was a soft brown, a few shades darker than the bleached-wood boat they lay in. Their chest rose and fell noticeably, but the breaths weren’t even. Watching it felt like swimming without a rhythm as you struggled to move yourself.

His gaze moved onto their clothes. The humans pale green shirt was fairly tattered, and he could see flashes of red, peeling skin through the gaps in the clothing. His shorts, made of a rough, light grey material, seemed to have fared better, though they still didn’t look nearly as new as the ones he often saw humans wearing at the beach.

He was barefoot, a bit odd since Haru knew humans had fragile, sensitive feet. 

After completing the small inspection, the major question came to mind.

What was this weak, starving human doing out here? He was far away from any human civilization, and even the nearest unihabited island was far away, far enough for it to be hard to believe this human had made it out here on their own. 

Leaning in a bit, he squinted at the human, not used to seeing in the air. They had a strong set of shoulders, even if their muscle was deteriorating. Their hands were much larger than his, though they seemed nothing more than skin bones and a few stringy tendons. Everything about him spoke of a once muscled complexion that had faded with hardship.

If they hadn’t been so thin, the entire effect would have been rather handsome, as far as humans went. But like this, they looked awful. Haru almost felt bad for them. Perhaps he could help them?

How? He couldn’t exactly show himself to them. Simply being here in the first place was a bad enough idea.

As if to prove his point, the human slowly opened their eyes while he stared intently at them. Panicking when the human bolted up at the sight of him, he tried slipping back into the sea, realising what a terrible mistake he had made.

But at that moment, a strong wave slammed him harshly into the boat. He weighed a lot, more than the human at least, because at the impact, the boat tipped dangerously. Another wave sent it completely over, and his heart raced as he saw, past the ends of the boat, the humans supplies slip away into the water.

He dove under, looking frantically for where the human had went. His side smarted a bit from the sudden impact, but he could ignore it for now.

He knew he had to fix his mistake, help the human back into their boat, which now lay empty on its side.

Even if they were a human, he couldn’t simply leave them here if they needed help. Yeah, he was being a huge idiot right now, but he hadn't ever made a mistake this major before. His mother had always taught him that if he made a mistake, he had to do his best to fix it, and he intended on doing precisely that. 

He scanned through the stormy, foamy water, trying desperately to locate the human. He couldn’t have ended up that far away, even if the waves were strong. 

Despite himself, he tried calling out as he swam through the water, a simple squeak in dolphin he thought of that resembled human speech in a way, even if it meant nothing in the language. Perhaps the human would hear it and try coming to the source. A pathetic idea, maybe, but he could do nothing but try as best he could in the heat of the moment. 

Clearly, his best was pretty awful if looking through the water and squeaking was all he could do. 

Then, he caught sight of their form, sinking slowly as waves shifted them through the water. 

Swiftly, he made it to their side. They appeared to have lost consciousness, because their eyes were closed and they didn’t respond to his rough touch.  
He grabbed onto the human, wrapping his arms around the human as he dragged him through the water to the air. When he broke the surface he allowed himself a small break, concern shooting through his emotions like a splash of cold water. He tried shaking the human, caring more about making sure they were alive than concealing his identity from them. He doubted the human would care much in a situation this dire.

Still, no response from them. He wondered if they were dead, but he could feel a faint breath from their parted lips, a relief he didn’t quite understand why he felt so deeply. 

Glancing at the rough, unstable water around himself, he knew he didn’t have a chance of getting the human back in their boat and expecting them to survive the storm. What he had thought was a simple rainstorm might very well turn out to be full-blown hurricane. He should have been paying more attention to the signs, he knew. 

There was no time to scold himself now, though. He shifted the light human from his chest to his back, wrapping his arms around theirs to make sure they were firmly secured.

It was a bit of a distance from there to the nearest land, he thought as he started off, careful to make sure the humans head was always above the water. But he had to fix his wrong, save the humans life. 

He was sure as hell being a complete moron right now. If he were being logical, he would have abandoned the human and dove to safety underwater, instead of risking his life to save the life of a monster he didn’t even know. They would probably hate him regardless of his work to save them anyway, so he shouldn't even bother.

He couldn’t leave them, though. He knew only that this was what his mother would have wanted him to do. She had always loved humans more than him. He didn’t understand it, they were such a horrid species. 

She said he simply took after his dolphin side, which was odd, since he was more human than dolphin. 

He moved as quickly as he could this close to the surface, without getting the human too wet.

Haru tried to focus more of swimming through the foreboding waters than the human he held on his back, but it was a bit difficult. As much as the water attacked him, a human could do a lot more damage. There was a good reason he trusted one and not the other.

But soon he found his rhythm, and managed to keep his motions in line with what they should be without having his thoughts wander too much.   
When he spotted land at last, arms sore from having carried the human this far, he felt relief that this was finally over, and allowed himself to slow a bit. 

Until he caught sight of what actually lay before him.


	4. Chapter 3

The island was where he remembered it to be, and he could tell from a quick glance that most of it had stayed the same.

But during its course, the storm had created a new threat, one he hadn’t been anticipating at all.

His heart seemed to skip a beat, while his mind processed the looming, jagged rocks sticking out of the water before him. The waves out here were wild, splashing roughly against his body, and even worse on the human he held to his back. 

He knew the rocks could be downright deadly up close. Even when it wasn’t storming, he had always been careful to steer clear of rocks like these, and in the moment he knew it would be very wise to avoid them.

But, he also had a very hard time managing his position, and he knew the waves wouldn’t permit for him to travel around the island to get away from the rocks, a troubling truth. There was only one way to go from here. Yet his body protested, freezing him to where he was, his tail only kicking to press himself back from the stones. The awful objects stick out of the gnashing water like ragged teeth.

His body felt so frail. Why, at a time like this, did he have to feel more human than ever?

Why was he even doing this? Risking his life for a human?

Why was the water doing this? He had done nothing but trust the ocean, rely on it, and yet here it was, betraying him, trying to kill him after years of ensuring he survived. 

The water isn’t alive, he knew. As much as he trusted it, it couldn’t truly live.

The human he held was alive, but only barely. He knew an unconscious human who had breathed water, especially one as weak as this one was, wouldn’t live without getting to land, and soon. In his arms he held a human. In his heart, he held the chance to help them live, or let them die.

In that split second, he made his choice, his resolution hardening. They might have only been a human, but he had never had responsibility to save anythings life. He couldn’t mess this up.

Besides, if he simply let this human die because he didn’t want to take a risk, wasn’t he just as bad as the monsters who had hunted him all his life? He couldn’t sink to their level, let human’s truly make him a monster, take away his shred of...

Not life, but spirit.

Not the kind of spirits who led heroes in the tales his mother had told him on occasion, but the strength inside of him. Sometimes human words had two meanings, he knew. 

Could, perhaps, humans have two sides? Could a human indebted to a beast unlike any other animal out there, like him, grow not to hate them?

He’d never find out if he didn’t ensure the human lived. So, he kicked his tail hard, arms wrapped tightly around the still unmoving arms of the life that was his to protect. The life that he was determined to protect.

The water would lead him now, it had to.

Still, after the first kick, he felt a sharp tearing on his stomach, then the warmth of blood, his blood, spreading through the water around him. Haru cried out in pain involuntarily into the water, but didn’t stop. 

A terrifying picture of his mother came to mind, her mouth formed into a scream no one would ever hear. Blood spilling from an awful wound that no one else could know the agony of.

The agony of being betrayed by the thing you always wanted to trust you the most.

No, not now. 

He looked back in front of himself, barely dodging another looming rock. He couldn’t afford to let himself get distracted like that again. Taking a deep breath, he submerged himself again, but not the human. Even in the chaos of the storm, things became clearer in the water for him. The base of the rocks were larger than their air-exposed counterparts, like icebergs.

Nimbly, he managed to dodge them, always being careful to ensure the human was above water. Their limp arms fit into his nicely, an odd fact to notice while he was fighting for his survival.

Their faint breath felt warm on the back of his neck, their legs hanging from either side of his tail.

Shaking his head, he swiveled his body to avoid a head-on collision with a large rock. This wasn’t the time. Whatever those weird, human feelings were, this wasn’t the time for them.

His chest was met with sand, and he knew he was getting close to shore. A small relief, perhaps, but the waves got dangerously big here, if only for a moment.  
He scrambled forward, but his body wasn’t designed for land, as human as he might be. He couldn’t move quickly, and the wet sand pooling around his wrists wasn’t helping. 

Behind him, the water dragged back out to sea, building up for what he knew would be an awful impact.

Well, it wasn’t so bad for him, when the water slammed into his body, hurdling him forward onto the sand. But, he realized with horror, as the water receded quickly, that the human had been ripped away from him as his arms had released their grip. 

Without doing so much as thinking, he dived back into the water, immediately locating a large, nondescript brownish blur in the the shallow water. 

His nimble fingers made quick work of pulling the figure towards him by a limp arm. He held them to his chest as he kicked furiously, making it to the beach sand before another wave could hit them. Struggling a bit, he pulled the human further up on the beach, panting heavily when he finally let them go. 

He had done it. Glancing back at the water, he let the fact sink in. Then, he realised something else, a little fact he couldn’t help but laugh bitterly at.

They weren’t rocks, after all. The island was surrounded by huge, dead, petrified trees.

It wasn’t the water, the land was the one trying to kill him.

The land was the only one with fangs, he thought with a bitterly as he looked down at the awful wound on his stomach, still oozing too much blood for it to be good for him. His wounds before had always healed quickly, but in his memory, he hadn’t had one quite this bad before. The gash ran vertical to the ground, the place where his skin had been torn raw and painful. He’d probably be fine, he knew. Dolphins healed quick, though he didn’t know much about how humans faired with awful wounds like this. 

Shrugging it off, he turned back to the human. Though they were frailer than he was, they seemed okay, mainly thanks to Haru having taken the brunt of the beating.  
Laying the human down on their back, he looked them over. Nothing more than a few scratches, as far as he could see, though his clothing had suffered quite worse, his shirt torn nearly in half in the back. 

He moved closer, pressing an ear to their chest. There was a heartbeat, good. They were still breathing too, but only faintly, and it sounded... Off. Even worse than when he had first met them, it was almost a... Gurgling sound. 

Worried, he tried to recall what his mother had told him about saving a human who had been in the water until they were unconscious. 

He opened their mouth a bit, brought his hands together like he hoped he should, and pushed at the place she had indicated he would need to.

On the second attempt, he heard a cough, and he moved away as the human coughed again, rolling onto their side to hack out the water from their lungs.

He watched with an odd interest at the spectacle. They had nearly drowned, and could still breathe well enough to cough out all the water?

Perhaps they weren’t as different as he might have thought. For a land animal, it was impressive a human could survive inhaling a lungful of water. Most animals like them would have died.

Still not as tough as a dolphin, since he knew well that a dolphin would never breath water in the first place, but perhaps he did underestimate the species a bit.   
He was worried for a moment that the human would wake up, but after coughing out the water, they seemed to have slipped out of consciousness again.

Moving close to the human again, he pulled them a little further to get out of the way of the waves and rain. He found protection under a rather large, spiny tree whose rough bark, large girth and odd, needle-like leaves were unlike any he had seen before. Still, it offered the some protection, which was much better than none, since he knew humans left in the rain or cold got sick easily. 

Exhausted, he sat back, looking at the frail human. Their breathing was a little stronger now, and the odd noise had disappeared with the water. That was a small relief, at least. He looked back at the jagged tree stumps and now even stronger waves, and then to his stomach, and dread outweighed the relief as he found he certainly wouldn’t be able to leave the island anytime soon.

The idea of being trapped out here, in the air, terrified him. He didn’t dare sleep, fearing the human would wake while he vulnerable and helpless. Then...

He shivered, at no fault of the rain and bitter wind. The human certainly looked strong, even as weak as they surely were from being trapped out on the ocean for so long. Their broad shoulders and muscled arms seemed capable of holding him down. Who knew what kind of methods humans had for killing others...

He grimaced at the idea. Being taken down, not even by a weapon, but by a humans bare hands, sounded awful.

Or, perhaps they would get creative and smash his body on one of the sharp trees. He knew all too well the kind of damage the dead plants could do, and he hadn’t even escaped with injuries nearly as bad as he could have. 

So, all he could do was sit there, in a good deal of pain, glaring at the human as he waited for the storms to end or them to wake up. If they woke up, he intended on diving back in the ocean, storm or no. If they didn’t and the storm gave out first, he could make his escape easily.

The question came to mind, what now? Was the human even strong enough to care for himself, much less get rid of him?

Looking over them, he supposed not. They were so emaciated that he soon found himself thinking that, as dangerous as humans were, they couldn’t overpower him easily. But he didn’t really want to find out, seeing as they still had a stronger frame than him, if not the muscles to support it.

He glanced back at the water but the storm, if anything, seemed to be getting worse. How long had he been sitting here, anyway? He had a poor concept of time, and absolutely no idea as a result. Seeing as he wasn’t getting hungry yet, though, it couldn’t have been too long.

Sighing, he leaned back on the tree. Looks like he’d be here a long time. At least the human probably wouldn’t wake up for a while. He hoped.

He hated being out here, exposed in the air like this. The rain made it bearable, at the very least, but it still wasn’t the same as being in the water. He longed to go back out, but in this storm, as tired and hurt as he was, his chances didn’t look too good.

So, he went back to glaring at the human. After all, it was their fault he was in this mess. It was their fault his stomach was bleeding, and he had to be out in the air like this.

They were the idiot for being out in the ocean. Any human with half a brain knew they would die out there. Or perhaps humans weren’t as intelligent a species as he believed? That certainly didn’t make him feel very good about his heritage. 

His heritage. A good topic to avoid, he knew well from past thoughts.

So, his thoughts on the human chose a different, slightly more pleasant route. 

He pondered over having actually saved the humans life. It felt... Odd, for sure. Those monsters had always hunted him. And yet he felt... Good, proud, almost, about the action. He had taken so much effort to save one of them, he was certainly better than any human.

Not like his standards for the species were very high. Still, a nice, true thought, and he knew well to take those when they came, since the occasion was always a rare one.

Soon enough, his exhaust began overriding his adrenaline and fear of the human, and though it still stormed heavily around him, he longed for sleep. 

‘It couldn’t hurt too much?’ He wondered. He would only be half asleep, after all, he would still wake if the human moved at all. Sure, sleep might have been clouding his judgment a bit, but in the moment he was too tired to care much. It was a compelling argument, and one that allowed him to sleep. 

Comforted a bit by the thought, he settled back. He’d rather stay close to them than move away. Having a human hunt him silently like he were another human and not a creature of the sea sounded terrifying. The land was certainly the last place he wanted to die. And he couldn’t move any closer to the ocean anyway, without getting washed over by the pounding waves.

So he let himself relax where he was, if only slightly. Even in the air he didn’t breath regularly, finding the concept too human for him to allow himself to do. Besides, only breathing on occasion came easier to him. 

Still, as he drifted off, not quite realising it, he didn’t fall half asleep like he had planned. His mind did something much more human.

For the first time in his life, he felt himself completely enter the dreaming world, without the worry of air plaguing him. 

Had he been awake, he would have uneasy about the human only feet away from himself. But in the complete immersion into the other, dark cold and lonely land of sleep, his thoughts were worlds away from the human.


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one's shorter than the rest.

His eyes flew open, heart racing. He knew the feeling of suspicion he found flutter in his chest well. Something was stirring around him, something that spelled trouble.

For a moment, he was disoriented, but dread washed over him as he recalled all that had happened to him. The storm, the trees, the human...

That meant...

He almost didn’t want to look in front of himself, but didn’t have any choice. So, careful not to make any sudden movements, he stared up to the human.

His rigid body relaxed when he saw the human was still lying on the sand, eyes closed, where he had left them. And, they were still breathing, perhaps a bit better now than during the storm.

_Storm._ Right. He glanced to his surroundings, finding it bright out here, the sun high in the sky.

How long had he been asleep? He had no idea, but the small pang of hunger in his gut told him it had been a while.

He felt strangely disjointed with his body. There was an odd feeling all throughout him, one he couldn’t describe. Not necessarily in a bad way, though. The ache in his arms and neck he had always simply accepted as a part of daily life had vanished, and with it, the haze he looked at the world through.

Was this what happened when you slept in the open air like a human? What was the word? Well rested?

It wasn’t unpleasant, but he still knew that sleeping out in the air wasn’t worth this new vigor in his limbs. Besides, the new feeling in his mind felt like it could easily lead to dangerous places if he wasn’t careful.

Slowly, he turned around, dragging his body as softly as he could back to the waves, which were now much farther out than they had been before. The dead trees  he had nearly killed himself on previously were all exposed to the open air, and they certainly looked a lot less threatening now. Still, he was careful to give them a wide berth.

Until a pain, more of a dull but still throbbing ache, made him stop where he was.

He looked down to his stomach, recalling the injury last night. It was stopped bleeding, sure, but the swollen, pink skin was hardly good.

Whatever. He could still swim this way, he had too. Any more time on this island, and he’d run the risk of the human waking. Of them finding him. Any pain some tree trunk couldn’t compare to the agony likely to follow a meeting like that.

It hardly seemed fair. He had saved their life, they were indebted to him now. But humans were hardly rational creatures, he knew. Killing someone who looked up to your species with endless wonder made just as much sense as killing somebody who had saved your life.

There was a faint coughing behind Haru, and he quickened his crawl. He didn’t hear their voice before he slipped into the water, which comforted him a little.

All those actions were the furthest thing he could have done from being careful. Despite his conviction that his mother would have said it was the right thing, he wasn’t so sure anymore. As much as she loved humans, she had, of course, always adored Haru more. She told him always to value his own life, that he was precious. Of course, he didn’t believe her words anymore, but it made him wonder.

Why had he done that? It’s not like he even cared. He wasn’t like his mother, he didn’t have a shred of compassion for the human species.

And yet, he had nearly died saving one from a storm. What was wrong with him?

His thoughts wandered to those odd thoughts he had during the storm. The warm, nervous feeling of holding the human so close. The way he couldn’t help but pick up every detail of them.

Was that a normal reaction to being so close to a human for the first time? Was it, crazy as the thought was, a sort of longing for a mate?

_‘What?’_ some voice inside of him said angrily, but he ignored it for a moment, wondering if there was any truth to the thought.

He knew humans and dolphins alike had mates, so it only made sense Haru would wish for one too. Although, he had always imagined the feelings would be directed towards dolphins...

Oh well, he should stop there. It wasn’t like a human could ever love him anyway. Or even go far as simply mating, like his father and his mother had. Not when he had no interest in humans.

Well, he had always assumed he didn’t. And truly, he wasn’t sure what these feelings were yet. Simple attraction wasn’t a big deal, right?

_‘Of course it is.’_

The human could never be attracted to him, he knew well. He was a freak of nature, cursed to be alone for all of eternity, until the day his body returned back to the water it was born from. So he was an idiot to hope for a mate.

Still, the odd human feelings persisted.

****  
  
  
  
  


He wasn’t quite sure why he was doing this, and he mulled over it while he swam.

The striking, new feeling in his limbs and mind receding a little after the exertion of a hunt, but he still felt it clearly, still couldn’t help but use the new energy to think about forbidden topics.

He had found a good sized school of medium sized fish, but while he normally would have only taken enough to fill himself, today he had grabbed three extra fish. Any more and he wouldn’t have been able to swim easily with them in hand, and any less, he wasn’t sure would satisfy the humans hunger.

He knew he didn’t owe them anything at all. If anything, they owed him. But they could hardly return any favors in the state they were in. So, he figured he’d at least keep the human he had worked so hard to save from starving to death. It seemed like the right thing to do. His mother would agree, right?

It’s not like he had anything to live for anyway, after all. Might as well be useful in the first opportunity he had to do so.

His instincts guided him back to the island, a welcome relief from the stress he had been enduring for the last day or so, and the thoughts his mind had been putting up with. Once again, it could simply be him and the water.  

_‘Just go there, leave the fish, and leave,’_ he told himself while he swam. There wasn’t any point in doing anything else. He didn’t really know how to help a human, how to prepare the food that they couldn’t eat raw like him.

They were so different, after all.

As he neared the small island, he made it to the surface of the water, scanning over the beach. Yet, he couldn’t see anything, not this far away. He feared the idea of blindy approaching the island, unsure of what exactly would be waiting for him there, but he had to. So, taking a breath, he submerged himself again, and swam through the shrinking amount of water, tension building in his stomach.

He couldn’t know if this was the right or wrong choice. It felt wrong, but why? Wasn’t helping another living being you were close to in species the right thing to do?

He didn’t have a mother to tell him what was right or wrong anymore. He had survived so long without one, why was he only now longing for her advice, her wisdom? Why had he only come to terms with how badly he needed a mother in the age that he would soon be expected to leave her anyway?

He felt that was a dolphin, deep down. He lived like one, he ate like one, he swam like one. He had to be more dolphin than human in what counted, right?

Dolphin calves grow much faster than human children, they have to. They have to grow up fast. The males have to leave, find a pod of their own. At this age, he would be expected to do just that, if he were in a pod.

And he desperately wished he were. But he couldn’t be. It was too late to be viewed as a straying orphan now, and besides, he was part human. Majority human, even. Dolphins knew that, just as well as humans did.

Perhaps, though, he could manage to convince this human not to fear him? It was a far cry from acceptance by the species, and his dream was quite a hopeful, unlikely one. But what if it did happen? In the small chance it did?

No, he was being an idiot. It wouldn’t happen, and anyway, he’d have to leave the water for a long time to build any sort of companionship with the human. That... That was unthinkable. The water had been his only companion for so long, and he knew it would be his only companion until the day he died.

Still, perhaps a bit of trust could, possibly be established between them. The human would look to the beast who he owed his life to, and though he still flinched at his odd, unnatural form, he would not fear him. Because he knew they meant no harm, that he never had.

He climbed up onto the beach, snapping himself out of the thoughts. He still had to be careful not to get himself killed by them, as much as he wished he didn’t have to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to take a short break from writing this so I can finish up drafting the rest of the story. I'll try to finish up quickly, so please bear with me. Thank you!


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're rolling again! I'll start updating a chapter every week from here. Thank you for waiting!

The human had built a fire.

He hadn’t seen fire much in his life, but his mother had told him a bit about the odd phenomenon. How it could only exist in the air, or how humans used to to cook their food because their immune system wasn’t as strong as his own. He didn’t understand it, really, but it fascinated him nonetheless.

Of course, it wasn’t like there weren’t things like it in the ocean. Animals that glowed in the night as they made their way lazily through the water, plankton that lit up the ocean in brilliant arrays of light. He had even come across a great fire spanning over the oceans surface once (though it was undoubtedly of human origin). Still, it was a rare thing for him to see, while he had become immune to the wonders of the ocean depths. The way it flickered in the light, casting a shadow on the ground around it, lighting up the human in a ... Different way than the sun did.

He couldn’t find the words for it. In the night, he could come a bit closer to shore without fear of the human spotting him, but it still wasn’t close enough for him to make out the finer details of the human and his little camp.

Not like he wanted to be any closer. As much as he was allowed to think of this human as his pet of sorts, it was still a dangerous creature who needed to be avoided. To risk leaving the water would simply be idiotic. And, if the human found out that he was here, he wouldn’t be able to return to him, and the thought of the human he had worked so hard to rescue withering away from starvation... Well, it triggered more emotion in him than most things did these days.

Maybe, he thought as he looked onto the human from the safe spot he had found, shallow enough to rest comfortably, but deep enough to escape in a moments notice, he liked the human because he saw more in them than was really there.

His mother had loved humans, a cruel twist of fate. She had always believed that one day the world would be safe for her and her son.

So far, the human hadn’t done much of anything that would suggest if he was dangerous or not. Haru knew that meant he could be any number of dangerous things, but his mother would have told him that it left the possibility of the human being kind.

He couldn’t deny that was why he had rescued them, despite the obvious dangers.

At the very least, the human didn’t have any weapons on him.

But humans are skillful creatures, and it wouldn’t be difficult for them to craft a weapon. Besides, a human that strong looking...

His mind ran through familiar circles as he observed the human, cooking the fish Haru had left for him. He had them on leaves, Haru guessed to keep the dirt off them. Must be a pain to have to worry about that all the time...

Do you see the same sky as I...

Haru hummed lowly, his chin in the water, not quite conscious of doing it.

For my fairest I will see thee tonight...

It was a song his mother had learned from his father, or at least that’s what she said. Haru wondered if it was human or half-spirit in origin.

I give you now all my days

As long as you promise not to go away

The human went along normally, and Haru couldn’t help but wonder about his life before all this. What a story he must have, to end up half-dead in the middle of the ocean. If only he could know it.

He pushed himself up, sliding back into the deeper water, careful not to make enough disturbance to alert the human. Though, it would be all too easy for the human to mistake him for just another dolphin.

“Aren’t I?” He sighed in an inaudible chirp. Nothing on land or in the sea would accept him, this human was no exception.

Still, he was drawn to his fire, all the same. A half-spirit is nothing, if built on dreams of many origins. And he had dreams of fire, even land.

He didn’t long for it, but he did often wonder if being normal and accepted among humans on the land would be better than being outcasted by all in the ocean.

He moved near the island, hands moving along the sand, while the surface of the water drew closer and closer.

He surfaced closer to the beach than he was comfortable with. But humans didn’t have good enough eyesight to see him at this distance.

The fire looked almost inviting. But didn’t it hurt you to touch it?

The waves gently pushed him closer and closer towards the human, that ever present figure gnawing at his mind.

It would be so simple to swim up to him, to tell the human, “I’m the one who rescued you, don’t fear me,” but of course that was the best way to get himself killed.

He turned around, slicing through the water with a newfound energy.

All of this was getting to his head too much. The human had had a while to recover, it was clear they were fine. They didn’t need him to baby them, how would he even do that for a species he knew so little of the care of?

No, it would be best if he did what he had intended to do before he stumbled upon the human. Swim away, find new territory away from this country, with all its fishing towns near the ocean.

Choosing a random direction that would send him away from the distant coast of the country he had spent a few months living near, he set off.

But even after hours of swimming, and finding his body grow exhausted of the work of travel, his mind refused to rest, become the quiet shell it had been for so many years.

What had that human done to him?

It was such an idiotic thing, this was for the best. The only thing the human could do was hurt him, why should he be sad to leave it behind?

It, that’s right. It’s only a human, there was no shortage of those. All he could do was leave the humans alone, just like that one.

What else can a monster expect?

He sped up his swimming, pushing through the protests of his already exhausted arms. They were so human, so weak. Eventually, all he could think of was the swimming, of keeping it up, not giving up before he had used every ounce of strength.

He burst through the surface for air, lungs burning.

As he did, he felt a disturbance in his surroundings he had failed to pick up on before.

Fear froze him where he was as he felt something brush his back, but when nothing followed it he turned around the water, slowly letting himself sink into the water until he could see his surroundings clearly.

A familiar grey animal of swam past him, chirping loudly. He felt another one brush his tail, call signifying its curiosity about the strange animal it had encountered.

Hesitantly, he tried his native tongue. His mouth might have been more designed for human speech than for that of dolphin, but he could still communicate using it, and had spoken it with his mother all his life.

There was no response, so he asked for identification again.

A clear call came back to him, a greeting, a name. Relived, he communicated his own, earning another brush on the back from one of the dolphins.

The dolphins investigated him for a while, before they lost interest in their human-dolphin playtoy and began swimming away.

“W-wait!” He chirped out, following after them. One turned around for a moment, regarding him carefully, only to chirp something he didn’t understand and leave him to rejoin her group.

He tried to follow after them, but it became evident very quickly that, even with his superior swimming skills, he couldn’t quite rival the speed of the dolphins, nor their endurance. And, he had to surface for air more often than the pod, who was steadily growing  further and further away from him.

Eventually, he was forced to admit defeat, slowing to a more manageable speed.

Where to now? He had no idea, but then again, he never had. He slipped through the waves, swimming somewhere in the medium between the air and the sand.

For the first time in a while, he was blessed with the ability to push thoughts aside, to become neither human nor dolphin, but just another mindless beast making its way through the ocean in search for food and temporarily assured survival.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I'd leave this here before I start nanowrimo, sorry it's pretty half-hearted. I actually have the rest of this this story written out on paper, but I won't be able to get around to typing it out until December, sorry! As soon as nanowrimo's over I'll get that out as soon as possible.

After swimming for a long time, though exactly how long he hadn’t payed attention to, he eventually stumbled on an island that, by all appearances, was devoid of humans.

A glance around his surroundings told him it hadn’t always been that way. A few nets and fishing lines lay snagged on the rocks around the island, and he was careful to give them wide berths.

As he circled the island, he found the remnants of a small batch of homes that had lay near the shore, before some kind of natural disaster had caused the patch of land they were built on to crumble and fall into the ocean.

He swam closer, startling off a school of small fish who had been congregated near the entrance to one of the rotting homes.

He startled many other fish as he made his way through the human buildings, catching and snacking on a few of the fish. None were of very large size, but he managed to catch a good number of them.

While he was catching the fish, he kept attention devoted to his surroundings. Even in fairly shallow water, he couldn’t be sure what lurked in the shadows.

After he had eaten enough fish, he wandered around the old settlement simply out of curiosity. He didn’t often find human towns like this, ones recent enough be more than ruble, but old enough to be abandoned.

He swam around without any purpose, trying to identify the names or purpose of all the human items he saw. Eventually, he found one that interested him.

A silver rectangle, the border decorated by colorful stones then reflected onto the seafloor, leaving spots of appealing color in the sand. It shifted ever so slightly with the waves.

He drew closer, flinching back at movement in front of him. He panicked for a moment, frozen in place, before he realized it was his only his reflection.

Slowly he reached out a hand, coming into contact with the surface. It was smooth, certainly made by humans. And in it, he could see himself, a face so much older than he had known it to be. His body was the only thing he could hold onto in this world, and yet it was so alien to him.

No, it couldn’t be. He knew his black hair, blue eyes. But at what point had those eyes gotten so dull?

He scowled at the mirror, suddenly hating it. His eyes couldn’t be dull, no it was simply the lighting down here. He took his hand off, moving on. Still, the image stayed with him. Dull eyes, and undeniably... How would he describe that expression?

_Loney?_

He shivered, a flick of his tail carrying him away from the mirror. He continued through the ruins, without thinking, until another sparkling object caught his attention.

It was much smaller, the length of his forearm and the width of his outstretched hand. The light made it difficult to see what it was from a distance, but as he got closer it became clearer what it was. He took it for a human at first, then, a half human, half what appeared to be fish.

As he reached out to touch it, he saw the glass box surrounding the entire work. It was worn,  it’s wood edges nearly torn apart, but not quite. He opened it slowly, fingers tracing over the flat surface.

He was enchanted. He had never seen a reference to another of his kind. It was like painting, but inside the glass, like the half-breed was trapped inside. Her tail was black, with scales indicated by what he thought must be masterful art skills for a human. Her hair was black, like his, but long and flowing through the water. Her eyes were closed, but he imagined they would be blue. Her arms were at her side as she swam toward a surface she would never reach. The entire piece of glass was shaped like a curving wave, the half-breed's tail bent to fit in the curve.

He tried to pick it up, finding it surprisingly heavy. But he knew he couldn’t leave it here. The woman was like him, maybe she was even real, somewhere. Although, where would he put it? He was constantly moving, and he couldn’t take it with him everywhere.

_“Then,”_ he said slowly, staring at the glass, _“ the human will care for it. They’d do that, right?”_

He hugged it to his chest, the slightly jagged edges digging into his arms. He didn’t mind it, he’d suffered worse wounds. Perhaps at the end it wasn’t worth much at all, but it was a much nicer image than the one he’d seen in the mirror. And he knew he couldn’t leave something so beautiful here to be worn down by the waves.

* * *

He waited until the dead of night, when the fire had finally died down to nothing, before he crawled up on the beach. He didn’t dare going too close, not yet. He hadn’t built up that much courage yet, but he was close, he could feel it.   
How could he, after all, fear an individual who had done nothing? How could the human kill him when he’d saved their life?

It might not have been true, he supposed. His mind worked like that, working and rephrasing things he wasn’t sure of to tell him it was certainly true.

It was a change of heart, wasn’t that the phrase? Still, he stayed about ten feet away, slightly tense as he made his way to the upper beach. He didn’t take a breath until he was back in the water, fearing the human might hear him.

The human would know someone was here, for sure. But he couldn’t be sure they didn’t already know that, and anyway, the glasswork was too beautiful to leave in the ocean.

Surely they would take care of it, right? It was made by a human, after all.

He made his way back to the water, constantly glancing back at the human. He waited until the next morning, when they discovered it.

Nothing too surprising, the huam picked it up with an expression he couldn’t make out from the distance he was at, and looked at the glasswork for a long time.

Then, they set it down near where they slept, and that was the end of it.

Feeling confident the art was safe, he went to deeper water for the day.

* * *

He approached low enough to be pulled back and forth with every swipe of the waves. He was shaking, ever so slowly, as he moved closer to the beach. The human was sleeping, but he couldn’t be sure how deeply humans slept.

_‘You already brought the statue, what more do you want?’_

He wasn’t sure, but he continued on anyway, making it to the sand and dragging himself forward. After what felt like an eternity, he was close enough to touch them.

The human was much healthier than before, and they even seemed to have more fat to them than when Haru had found them.

He could imagine reaching out, feeling the human’s soft skin, recovered from the patches of sunburn they had once had. But he couldn’t bring himself to go that far.

_‘Are they armed?’_ the cautious, furious side of him asked. But of course, the human was still weak, they wouldn’t hurt him, right?

He dragged himself around the human, looking over them carefully. Curiosity had gotten the better of him, sure, but he couldn’t find anywhere where they might be hiding in a weapon in their ragged clothes.

_‘Why do humans bother with clothes at all? It wouldn’t make much difference if they took them off at this point.’_

He shrugged, relaxing slightly. Under the cover of the trees, he could see the glass half-breed art, and seeing it again made him feel... Not quite happy, but it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling.

He looked to the human again, who was still asleep, snoring faintly.

_‘It must be an evolutionary disadvantage, something could come out of the forest and kill them so easily...’_

It hadn’t occurred to him humans could ever be vulnerable, but then again, any animal would be so far from its home. Humans lived in those buildings, that was what kept other animals away from them. Of course they wouldn’t need to have sleep patterns like him.

He wished for a moment that his mother had told him more about humans, he wanted to know more about the seemingly harmless animal before him. How was it they could be so murderous when they looked so... Well, the human looked peaceful right now.

He shook the thought away. No, he shouldn’t be thinking about humans with anything but contempt. He shouldn’t want to know more about the creatures that killed his mother, would kill him if given the chance.

But, as he looked on the human, he was left wondering how they could. Sure, they had a stronger build than him, but then, they didn’t have his thick skin, their bones felt so much weaker.

_‘But they’ll still kill you, never forget that. Never slip up with them, if you want to stay round them so bad.’_

_“Hu...man...”_ he said slowly, absentmindedly. It had been so long since he spoke in the tongue, but his mother had taught him well.

“The human is lost,” he whispered. “But why are they here?”

The human didn’t stir. He had a crazy thought of waking the human up to ask.

_‘Don’t be an idiot...’_

“The half breed saves the human, and gives them a gift... So the human doesn’t harm the half-blood, they...”

They what? What could he gain from a human? His mother had mated with one, but he was hardly looking for children right now, at least not ones of human parentage. The idea wasn’t completely appealing, he’d admit, but what kind of human would agree to that? Besides, a human and a half-breed together?

He might be desperate, but they would be separated at the end.

The human stirred, responding to something in their dream. Haru shrunk away, his confidence leaving him.

He came back to reality, noticing suddenly his skin felt too tight, dry.

_‘How long have you been out of the water?’_

He dragged himself away from the human, glancing worriedly at his tail. The skin near his torso was peeling away, and he felt bile rise in his throat at the sight. The grey skin was peeling away, and under it he could see skin the same color as the rest of his upper body.

He didn’t want to know what would happen if he stayed out any longer, he needed to get back in the water. He had an idea of what happen, a terrible idea he didn’t want to think of, but that wouldn’t leave him alone.

He pulled himself back into the sea as fast as he could, feeling sicker with each movement. Any second now, the human would wake up, lunge forward, tackle him. They would pull out some weapon he had missed, and that would be the end of him...

But no such thing happened, and he made it to the water safely.

Still, the skin was peeled, and too much came off. It would grow back, he knew it would. But he had no intention of finding out how much time on land would make it so the skin didn’t.

Skin the same color as his human half, and then...

_‘And what else would happen then? Under the tail, you’re human aren’t you?’_

For the first time in years, he cried.

 


End file.
